Scary Dan destroys the notion that Australian Toriphiles lack the ability to assess her concerts without OMG-ing all over the page, with this cheeky, decidedly global review of last night's show:

sausage fest? WTF? :P

I'm sure by now you've seen a setlist on thedent, and there wasn't anything groundbreaking there.

you're so right about jamaica inn. i like it on the album (shush), but live...snore. the only songs done completely on the organ were 'cool on your island', and 'the beekeeper'.

and nobody told me about the drool. now i knew that she drooled, and was expecting a few drops now and then. nobody told me it was a geyser. blood roses, fine...not expecting it in SATY. sweet the sting however was another matter. it was POURING out. the song itself - hot. for the first time in my life, i wished i could wolfwhistle. and shake my hips. hot. but when she flung her hair back, and spittle went flying through the air i almost burst out in hysterical laughter. which, in the third row centre, wouldn't have gone down too well. it was so funny, it was just globbing off and...yeah i'll stop talking about her saliva now.

cool on your island - if ever the girl in the rainn video (you know the one) needs a replacement, i think i'm fully qualified. this, sting and silent were the highlights. those moments where the whole audience was in raptured silence...i've only known it happen twice before. at radiohead in 2003 when they played "exit music (for a film)" at the first show, and at a local sydney band "fourplay" show, where they debuted the best song on the planet (oh yes) called "trust". stunning.

and cooling and leather - why do so many people complain about hearing them? leather is so much fun (and it was my first time with it) but cooling is always perfect (and my 2nd time with it).

and so much for the unique cover thing. like a prayer, yay. *rolls eyes* still 'you shook me all night long' made up for it. in a big, big way.

sinsuality, beekeeper, horses, barons, crazy - all good, solid performances. not that i've anything to compare to, mind. except crazy, i saw it done when i was in the UK in '03. and horses then too, but that was with the band.

mother revolution - i'm sorry, i just don't like it. no, i'm not even sorry - i just don't like it.

cloud on my tongue and yes anastasia - i love UTP, and i love these songs. she really let rip with anastasia.

now the one i left until last...yes, take to the sky. there's a story. let me preface it by saying that i read somewhere on your site that you shouldn't ever interview your idols because you'll fuck it up. so i was shitting myself. FUCK ALL THAT.

(Photo of Scary Dan Interviewing Tori)

it went well. it went very well. when i've finished editing i'll post it up somewhere.

now, i don't know how she's been playing TTTS in the US this time around, but i love it when she slaps her hand on the piano. and, since i miss the percussive slap when i play myself, i've taken to slapping the piano. now i've only been seriously playing the piano (again...i took a long break, i studied it when younger) when (wank wank tacky story coming up) i heard "apollo's frock" and it got me all excited about the piano again. i told tori this, and my count of Random Spontaneous Celebrity Hugs now sits at 2. i didn't ask for it, i didn't even consider the possibility of getting one, but i told her about "frock" and she almost exploded with excitement. so of course my friend renee (who took photos for the FBi website) decided that it would be a good idea to tell tori that i slap the piano when i play TTTS. this was considered hilarious to tori, and she asked if we were coming tomorrow night (the interview was friday, show saturday), we said yes and so she said she'd slap the piano for me. so of course the moment TTTS started, renee and i were screaming like 3 year old girls who have just run out of fake tea for their dolls. whether she'd been doing the hand slap before or not, i've no idea and i don't care...but the whole experience was a lot of fun.

me and my ride home were so pumped afterwards we went out for a curry and now it's almost 2:30am and since i'm doing the whole thing again tomorrow i'm gonna go pass out. and i think i get why you follow her around...i really do.

oh apparently the M&G here (i didn't go) was all very orderly. no barricades. numbers (which people respected) and everybody got their chance. i've done the crazy mob-rule thing before, and avoided the M&G because i didn't want to be disappointed that the same thing happened here.

and merchandise? what a rort...AU$40 for a t-shirt...of course i bought one, but not happily :P

i guess you'll be getting another of these tomorrow night

x
dan (of the scary variety)