May 15th, 2005

Come on. You know you want to download this:

Britney Spears- Chaotic

Not sure if it will be the theme song for her upcoming trainwreck set to pepsi commercials reality show of the same name, but still worth the prev.

Because I haven't exercised since my junior year of college, I thought I'd make up for three years of laziness in one sitting last night. The goal? 20,000 sit-ups. I made it to about...200. And then I rewarded myself with cookies (because there was no ice cream around and I am too lazy to walk to the corner to buy some).

I sort of feel like play-doh right now; like with enough hard work I can sculpt myself into an action figure like She-Ra, Princess of Power, and really do some damage. Since I've lost so much muscle mass to beer and pizza, I'm not entirely intimidating to anything worth it's salt. Even green beetles look at me and shrug.

I don't imagine my pledge to attend and eat my way through at least one major league baseball game a week this season is going to help me on my road to cut-ness, but I never was any good at laying off the nachos.

I never was any good at laying off the obvs. bad movies either. I saw "Kicking and Screaming" on Friday night, and "Monster-In-Law" the next night. I may be a music snob, but I am truly the lowest common denominator of movie-goers.

I am hungrier than an ant on a lollipop right now, and my friend John is stuck in traffic. I'm taking him out to celebrate his birthday tonight, but if he doesnt get here soon I may have to gnaw my arm off and send him out for dessert.

I went on a walk with Noah to Chelsea Piers today so I could look at brown water and New Jersey. As I watched the shirtless men with beer guts wash down their boats I realized that whenever I get a little nostalgiac for my old O.C. brooding ground, I only have to venture a few blocks west for an eye-full. Noah and I are looking to join a kickball league that emphasizes drinking. Anyone know of such an organization? I bet I could field a team of giggly, non-athletes.

Did I mention I am so f-ing hungry I could eat a piece of under-cooked, busted red meat?