Extraordinary Leakage
Thoughts on Fiona Apple’s new song "Extraordinary Machine"

You’ve got to love Fiona Apple for giving suitors a tailor-made Thomas Guide To Her Heart rife with warnings of emotional roadblocks at every mile marker: “To win me over, take I-95 North to GrowAPairOfBallsville. Exit Reciprocity Road and make a left toward TakeMeSeriously St…. Yield for flailing, anorexic, self-loathers.”

God bless the man who dares to date Fiona Apple. And double-dog bless the person who stealthily leaked the title track of Apple’s seemingly buried upcoming album Extraordinary Machine. (Rumor has it Epic/Sony is so dissatisfied with the album's lack of radio-friendly singles that they’ve asked the young Neurotic to re-record the whole darn thing). We all know how these sagas unfold, so there's no need to mention that band that was dropped (and then later re-signed) by Warner for creating that non-single wielding Yankee Hotel Foxtrot record that turned out to be one of the single best records of this millennium.

I never thought I’d fumble for Fiona Apple performance descriptors and settle on “sexed-up, alto Mary Poppins,” but that's the best way to describe Extraordinary Machine. On Machine Apple dilly-dallies her mostly monotonous vocals delicately onto a simple instrumental backing, capitalizing on her uncanny ability to accidentally curl up in coy melodies and make herself cozy. This playful-to-perfection technique creates a hold-your-breath-while-you-wait-for-THIS-rhyme-I’m-about-to-drop-on-your-unsuspecting-ass effect that puts the “ex” in exclamation. It’s possible this simply arranged clip was leaked before it was mastered, but it’s just as likely that this is the finished version Epic unscrupulously rejected.

Machine’s chorus is quite possibly the catchiest piece of music she’s written since the hurts-so-good Criminal. In typical Fiona fashion, she self-indicts/pouts the “be kind to me….or treat me mean” refrain that evokes the listless pain of Paper Bag, the standout track of her last album When the Pawn…. But the highlight of the song is the delectable bridge Apple effortlessly careers over. Transcending her alto limitations, she nails super-high notes only Whitney Houston could hit (before she reportedly started getting super-high on the devil's dandruff every night).

Critics will probably pan this song as yet another self-indulgent meandering tune, but who is Fiona Apple if not a self-indulgent meanderer? Here in America (and in Britain) we love our SIM’s: we call them visionaries.

So to Fiona: so far, sounds good. And to Epic: get this album out of the cellar and onto the shelves of Virgin Megastore as soon as possible.

06-15-2004